struggles | suffering in silence

I think my biggest struggle over the past years has been dealing with my mental illness and especially not being able to tell/talk about it with my family and friends because I found it hard to accept it myself. Also, there's still so much stigma surrounding mental illness which just makes it hard to open up to others when you don't know if they will react normal and be supportive or just start making a joke out of it.  It takes a lot of courage to open up and when things don't go well, it will come down crashing on you.

So instead, I just pushed everyone and started hiding my moments of weakness to a point where I didn't even know what was going on. Moreso, when you are in high school, things are generally hard because you try so hard as it is to fit in or at least avoid bullying. And it is just a period of time where everyone acts cruel and mean because that is survival and you do a lot of things in the name of survival. 

With that being said, I personally decided not to talk about my mental illness and other struggles because I didn't want sympathy and I didn't want (and still don't want) to be defined by it. Honestly, one of my greatest fear is being defined by something because I will always be me no matter what. there are so many ups and downs in life but please spare me the pity.

Thankfully, when I finished school, I met amazing friends/people on the internet and in real life (IRL) who experienced or were struggling with similar issues and that is when I started to feel a little bit confident and after many discussions, I felt so much better. opening up and talking up your own struggles is therapeutic and healing. it is not bragging and as long as you have people you trust, you should talk and have a discussion because it will help you and make you feel relieved in a way rather than when everything is just locked in your head.

My personal journey encouraged me to open up and help others and I feel passionate in doing so because there are so many people who are still suffering in silence. So in writing this post, I hope everyone out there who is going through rough times knows that they are not ALONE. Your feelings are valid and you are all loved. I Love YOU.
please don't hesitate to contact me if you need any help.

(No matter what you are going through, always be kind and give more love because there's so much love in your heart)